Breath
by heartfallen
Summary: He told them there might be trouble just because of that. They should have cared. If only they cared maybe it would have been different. Maybe just maybe they wouldn’t be in this situation.


**Breathe**

_Two men  
They started walking  
Started talking bout better days  
One says to the other  
We do it all again  
Seems I knew I would_

On a cold-starless-smoke-filled-sky-night Chris was walking down the slowing-becoming hell-on-earth-streets when he literally bumped into a man.

"Sorry," Chris mumbled to the man not in the mood for any human contact, especially not from a complete stranger.

Not acknowledging his words, the man instead tilted his head and stared at Chris.

Growing uncomfortable under the man's scrutiny, Chris asked, "Do I know you?"

"In a manner of speaking."

Chris knew this stranger was either (a) someone he should listen to or (b) just some crazy guy. Having nothing to lose and really hoping someone higher up was finally giving him a break, he went with option (a).

"What do you mean?" Chris asked him.

The stranger began the story he was always fated to tell Chris.

_And now I found it  
Found I got it  
I didn't want this  
Somebody help me see  
Now I feel it  
Feel like I've been there  
I didn't need this  
Somebody help me breathe_

Chris was once again walking down the hellish streets of San Francisco, however this time he had the stranger's story echoing in his mind.

"It can't be true," the young witch-whitelighter exclaimed to the empty night air. "How can it be? . . . I'm not..."

The thought was too ridicules for him to even say aloud.

But was he?

He couldn't be.

"It was a mistake, that's all," he told himself.

The man had mistaken him for another. He wasn't the person the stranger thought him to be. He couldn't be because he couldn't do it. He had a difficult time as it was just taking care of himself so how was he expected to do this?

"Two shall rule the new world. One shall forever rule all darkness. The other shall rule forever all light."

The stranger was wrong; it's as simple as that. Chris wasn't a ruler.

"I'm not a ruler." Even as Chris said those words, he knew in his heart that it was a lie. No matter what he voiced aloud, he knew he was a ruler.

Then the real question came to him.

"Which one am I?"

_Here we are again  
Just face to facing  
Each other another day  
Who wins  
Well who cares  
It always ends up the same  
Seems I knew I would_

"We're under attack!"

_Those are really useless words_, Chris thought, _since currently they were being attacked by numerous demons. So, whoever screamed that was just stating the obvious._

As Chris was dodging an energy ball, he couldn't help but think back to the first time he had met his fellow warriors. It had all started when he was on the streets and heard the screams of help.

Chris ran to the source and found five young men and women fighting an overwhelming number of demons in an alley. As a couple of the demons were quickly vanquished, he realized the screams of help he heard weren't from the people but from the demons.

Instead of just standing there useless, Chris began helping them vanquish the remaining demon like any other fellow witch would do. It was only when the last demon was vanquished that the fighters turned their attention to the newcomer.

"Thanks," a young woman with red hair none too kindly informed him, "but we had it under control."

"I saw that, but I really couldn't let you have all the fun, now could I?"

That was the first time he had met the Resistance and from that moment on he never stopped fighting without them. He wasn't their leader, per say, but he might as well had been. Especially since whenever anything came up everyone always came to him first and also only came to him to make the tough decisions.

Chris had fought side by side these amazing individuals for months and realized they were a family and that he had became a part of this strange family, as well.

"Watch out!"

Chris whipped around to the voice, but it was too late. As if in slow motion, the fireball came hurling at him, but he didn't have time to move. It was inches away, however, when it suddenly turned directions to save him and vanquish another demon. Chris paused a moment to see who had saved him—Ashley, the red haired women he had just remembering from the alley. He then got back to work killing the remaining demons left standing.

It became imperative then that this was his family. These people that were only bound by the same fight against evil as him, was his family. Chris fought with more vengeance than he even thought possible because he was now protecting his family.

_And now I found it  
Found I got it  
I didn't want this  
Somebody help me see  
And now I feel it  
Feel that I've been there  
I didn't need this  
Would Somebody help me stand  
And now I've told them  
Already warned them  
I didn't want this  
Somebody help me breathe_

When Chris had first came to the Resistance he had told them straight away who he was—Wyatt Halliwell's brother. He told them there might be trouble just because of that, but they didn't care. They had said it didn't matter. They should have cared. If only they had cared then maybe it would have been different. Maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't be in this situation.

Chris suddenly gasped at the sharp pain that went through his side. He could feel his own warm crimson blood slide down his side because Wyatt's demons were currently torturing him for information on the Resistance. Nevertheless, Chris would never give them anything. He was only in his current position because they had caught him when he was unprepared.

It was in the early morning when demons suddenly shimmered in on the street completely surrounding him . Demons usually didn't attack in the morning, they weren't morning people apparently, but he was wrong. The demons not only preferred the morning but were also upper-level demons that worked for Wyatt.

He had sent one demon in front of him flying backwards, but that was all he was able to do. In one synchronized move, all of the demons tackled him to the pavement. He had tried to orb but found it was useless. One of them then hit Chris particularly hard and his last conscious thought was, _I really gotta start avoiding streets_.

He was then awakened by extreme pain caused by Wyatt's team of torturers. He was currently chained to a cold wall in what looked like a medieval dungeon. Pain cut through his body. They were good at their job, Chris would give them that, but there was no way he would ever turn on the Resistance.

He looked down at his feet and was mesmerized by the splattering of his own blood; there was quite a puddle of blood forming. Chris didn't know how much blood a person could lose before dying, but he was hoping it took a lot more then what was already there.

The pain suddenly stopped.

His whole body was throbbing from the cuts and various wounds, but no more pain was added. Chris then looked up surprised to see a woman was walking towards him; each step she took made her long flowing silk dress whisper at her feet and give the illusion she was levitating.

When she reached his battered bleeding form, she placed her fingertips on each side of his temples. She closed her eyes, seemed to be concentrating and then began pulling all the information she desired.

The pain was worse than the torturing he just experienced. Nevertheless, Chris knew what she was doing and tried to resist, but it was useless. He was no longer in control, she was. Every bit of information she desired was now hers.

_If I was them  
Then I wanna be  
What I see  
If I could drag my life in a moment  
Wanna know do you want me to go  
Gonna keep it all from ending  
Never stop myself from pretending  
That you always knew that I never could_

Chris gasped as he was woken by pain.

"Sorry," a familiar voice soothed.

"Ashley?"

"That's my name."

She continued gently applying a healing solution to all his wounds and wrapping them with bandages. The solution was a mimic of a whitelighter's healing power. It wasn't the same and wasn't as effective, but—with no more whitelighters around—it did its job.

"How'd I get here?" Nothing looked familiar to him.

"We bribed one of Wyatt's men to help get you out."

Suddenly all that had happened came rushing back to him and he started to tremble. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to tell them anything. I didn't technically tell them, but I couldn't keep her out of my head. I tried, but she was too strong. I'm sorry. Is everyone okay? I'm so sorry. I. . ."

Ashley cut him off, "It wasn't your fault, Chris. Only a few people were hurt with only minor wounds." She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, "Everyone is fine."

Chris wasn't convinced and she clearly saw his guilt.

"It wasn't your fault, Chris."

"Yes, it was," he argued. "The only reason the demons knew I was even part of the Resistance was because of Wyatt. I'm Wyatt's brother and that will always cause me damage, but it shouldn't for you. If you never met me then you would have been safe. Wyatt would have suspected the Resistance, but 

never learn such precious information. As long as I am Wyatt's brother, no one around me is safe. You can't risk the safety of the Resistance by having me here. You can't be around me, it's too dangerous for everyone."

"We can take care of ourselves, Chris."

"That's the problem you have to fight against regular demons everyday but now you have to fight against Wyatt's demons, too. I have already put you all in too much danger. I have to leave before I put you in even more danger. I can't stand to see more people I love die because of me. I have to go."

"We need you, you can't leave."

"If I stay you all will die one way or the other and then you won't need me so it doesn't matter. I have to leave."

"Chris. . ."

"I'm going to miss you. I'm going to miss everyone. You guys have become my family. Don't you see that's why I have to do this because you aremy_ family_. I love you guys and I can't let anything happen to you, especially because of me."

"You can't go anywhere in your condition."

Looking down at himself, Chris knew she was right; the white bandages she put on were now red. He won't put them in danger no matter what, though.

"I'm leaving."

"It's raining," was her last feeble attempt at making him stay.

Despite the pain he knew it would cause him, he pulled Ashley into his arms and hugged her and she hugged back.

In her ear he whispered, "Goodbye. I'll miss you."

Chris pulled away from her and turned his back forever to her as he walked to the door. Opening the door, he stepped out in to the rain and closed the door behind him without once looking back.

He walked aimlessly through the night. Chris should have known family never lasts, after all this time how can he not have? The rain poured down upon him as if the Gods felt his pain and were crying for him. The pain Chris felt was excruciating. He didn't know which pain was worse, his heart or his wounds?

_All I ever really wanted was to be the same  
Equal treatment never ever comes  
and there they go again  
All I ever really wanted was to be like you  
So perfect  
So worthless  
If i could take it all back think again  
I would_

Chris had to find shelter and quick. A few more paces and he was staring at a brick building. He began slightly swaying and slide down the side of the cold wall of the building.

Chris had to get inside because the rain was far too cold. He tried to get up but he just slid right back down to the same spot. There was no way he could get up when he could barely keep his eyes open.

As blood seeped through his clothes, he wondered where it had all went wrong.

When was he forced to fear his own brother?

When was he forced to fight against his brother?

When did his world crumble and fall at his feet?

He knew the answers to those questions; it was when his family was destroyed. When he saw the blood of his loved ones and the one who had caused it all. He knew when it happened, but he could never understand why.

Why did his beloved brother turn evil?

He still remembered the good days when he was jealous of his brother from getting all the attention and he had felt so worthless and unloved. It amazed Chris that that was now considered a good memory. Then again, considering all of his bad memories that was actually beyond a good memory.

_And now I found it  
Found I got it  
I didn't want this  
Somebody help me see  
Now I feel it  
Feel that I've been there  
I didn't need this  
Somebody help me stand  
And now I've told them  
I didn't want this  
I didn't need this  
Would somebody help me breathe  
Would somebody help me breathe  
Would somebody help me?_

Then a thought came to him, "Was it my fault he turned evil?"

Maybe he did something to cause it. Maybe if his family hadn't had to worry about him then they would have seen the signs. They would have known he was turning. If they had known then they could have prevented it. If they had prevented it then they all would have been alive and no one would have died.

"It's my fault. If I wasn't born then they could have seen. It's my fault they're all dead."

Chris wasn't thinking rationally, but it was probably because of the puddle of blood that was forming around him.

"Maybe it's not too late. Maybe I can still fix it."

Chris got colder and colder as the rain poured down on him and he lost far too much blood. But none of that mattered to him because he found a way to end it all.

To end all the pain.

To end all the death.

To end all of it.

All he had to do was surrender to the darkness. Surrender to the pain.

He never wanted any of this and now he didn't have to put up with it anymore. Chris didn't have to put up with anything anymore.

He started to shiver and it became harder to breath. Everything hurt too much but soon he wouldn't feel anything. Chris took his last breath and surrendered.

He surrendered to the darkness.

He surrendered to the pain.

He surrendered to death.

The End.


End file.
